The school I studied at had a special section for the good students. This special section supposedly had ‘better’ teachers. The idea perhaps was that only good students deserve the guidance of good teachers. Maybe mine was a case of sour grapes as I was not a part of this elite section. I am happy that the school at which I became a teacher had no elite section reserved for gifted students. The school worked on the premise that all students are good students.
My experience tells me that a teacher who knows his subject very well but doesn’t know his students can’t be a good teacher. Good teachers are compassionate and caring. If I am ever asked, what is the most flattering description of a teacher—a hero or a role model—I would say a hero. A role model impacts our life for a shorter period. Once his role is over, he disappears from the scene. Heroes have much longer half-life. They remain with us for a long time.
I remember a young colleague of mine. He was a good student. He did not understand why some students take so much time to understand even simple things. He tried to move faster in the class. Some students could not keep pace with his speed. The students wanted the young teacher to reduce his speed. The senior teachers advised him to move a bit slowly. He agreed, though reluctantly. My young colleague gradually learned to move with the class. He understood that some students need time to understand even simple things. One of my other colleagues was an average student, but he was one of the most popular teachers of the school. Naturally, all students were fond of him. This raises the question—can a mediocre student excel as a teacher? I believe it is possible to overcome the sense of mediocrity.
Climbing is difficult for those who are at the base line. For those who are at the top maintaining their position is quite a challenge. Those who are at the middle of the ladder are the most vulnerable and confused. They have equal opportunity of moving up as well as chance of sliding down. One suddenly doesn’t get transformed into a talented one. Talent doesn’t change overnight, but opportunity does. The seizure of opportunity can transform one from the ordinary to the extraordinary. Mediocrity may not excel, but a mediocre can.
Should one follow someone else’s footsteps or chart his own course? We know that drawing is different from tracing. When we draw, we encounter discontinuities. These discontinuities disappear when we trace. But many of us like to live with a few discontinuities. These discontinuities form our driving force to move forward on our terms.
My profession has taught me that everything is not for sale. Many things are available for free, but that doesn’t mean we should have them. If someone pays my bill, it doesn’t mean I should overspend. The possibility of being caught and the magnitude of punishment are the two things that deter us from going the wrong way. There is another perspective that tells us that our internal reward mechanisms are very powerful. They help us to overcome dishonesty. We act selfishly if the act maximizes our own payoff. But it is also true that we are sensitive to the costs that our dishonest ways impose on others. Our dishonesty has a rider. We behave dishonestly enough to profit, but honestly enough to delude ourselves of our own integrity. We are careful that our positive self-view doesn’t get spoilt.
My mother once told me that I am not a bad student. She said this when I informed her that I failed in my exam. When I told her that I failed, she was more upset than I was, but did not explicitly show her disappointment. She said I failed because I did not study. She said she knows that I can do much better only if I want to. I wondered what Ma has seen in me that I have not seen in myself. I asked Ma how she knows me more than I know myself. She kept quiet. She did not say anything. I appeared for the same exam next year. I became more confident about my abilities. I did pretty well in the exam this time. The course of my life changed. The convictions of Ma created in me a will to excel.
Ma knew that her conviction was not enough. No one can be rescued or guided by someone else’s beliefs. She knew nothing would be possible if I was not convinced about my abilities. Ma knew convictions and confidence can’t be forced upon but come through self-realization. Conviction is not enough. One needs a matching intellect to do well. A mismatch between will and intellect results in discontent. A mother’s conviction can create the will. The intellect is not an extension of someone’s beliefs. It comes imprinted on the grey slate we are born with. Intellect is inborn and can be chiseled and polished.
Perhaps failure awakened my dormant intellect. Ma saw imminent danger in my failure. She would not have succeeded had she enforced her ‘will’ upon me. She opted to use restraint.
It gives me great satisfaction that I am a teacher. I have known that a teacher’s commitments to his student and the student’s obligations to his teacher extend well beyond the classroom and formal schooling. My students are the ones who so patiently prepared and shaped me for what I am today.
The teacher-student relationship is a tricky matter. It depends on how well responsibilities are defined and understood and ultimately met by both sides. I am grateful to my young friends that they have understood this responsibility so well, and that has helped me to understand my responsibilities better.
Once a university professor was asked—What will change everything? The professor said he wants the end of conventional centralised, age-stratified schools. He wants to see some schools opened where each child follows his personal learning track at his individual level and rate. He wants all the children to do playtime and gym-type activities together.
I know opening such a school needs another level of determination and resources, but I wish I could start such a school—The School of Upna Life. In this school, knowledge will not be a burden. In this school no problem will be trivial. In this school, learning will not be dictation. In this school, incoherence will be heard. In this school, mutants will co-exist with the clones. In this school there will be hope that dreams can become reality. In this school, mirrors will turn into windows.
I love a framed photograph on my study table. If you have seen the photo, you can’t miss the calm confidence on the person’s face. She is my mother.
The year I failed Ma I decided that she should continue her studies. She wanted to be a graduate. After the marriage, there was a big gap, but that did not deter her. She completed her graduation as a private student. Once I asked Ma why she decided to continue her studies after such a long gap. She said she wanted to get photographed wearing the graduation robe. The photograph you have seen in my room is that photograph. My mother wanted to give me the courage and conviction that if she could do it at this age, why can’t her son who is so much better than her do it at a young age?
I am still celebrating my mother’s success as a mother as a teacher in the school of my life.
When I failed, she did not parrot me. She gave me the courage to say I can root out my insecurities and self-doubt. I am so fortunate that I got the tutelage of a rule-breaker mother.
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